Zini, me & life in general

R’s mom wrote a post on craze for fairness here. And it just got me really upset & thinking in this direction.

how the girls are pressurized to look a certain way & are encouraged to go to any length to fit that mold, pisses me off a big time.

It reminded me of an incident my hubby told me about. he had an informal office event/outing at a garden. After the event they cut a cake & had some snacks.

2 little girls (around 5-6 years of age) were playing around, so these guys offered food to them.  one of them took it & the other one refused it.

When the guys asked the girl why she was refusing yummy cake while her friend was having it, the little girl replied “Woh cake khati hai tabhi to uska figure aisa hai ” (Because she eats cake, she has such a figure – referring to her friend’s plumpness)…

When hubby told me about this, i was totally shocked….. are kids so young supposed to know & care about figure???

are children this young supposed to have an attractive (read slim) figure?? And from where is all this pressure coming? is it media? is it peer pressure? is it the changed mindset of parents? or is it that the girls want to look like their favourite doll?

Actually when i was pregnant a dear little girl told me that she would be so happy if i got a daughter with following charecteristics:

1) Fair

2) Brown eyes

3) Slim

4) Curly hair

And she has multiple dolls that look exactly like this. On 1 hand it was so sweet of her to be excited about my pregnancy but it also made me a little sad.

Teenage girls are told by their mothers to watch their weight. Now where are those bollywoody moms who used to feed parathas after parathas to their wards?

on more serious note, it is definitely very important to be fit (Disclaimer: i am not a great example of fitness, but i try :)). By all means, we should tell our children to be fit by playing games, working out & eating a balanced healthy meals. But shouldn’t we stop pressurizing our children to look a certain way, so that they can get married to an eligible bachelor?

I just so agree with R’s mom : “because what covers you is just the outer skin. What matters is what you have inside you!”

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Comments on: "What matters is what you have inside you…" (2)

  1. I totally agree with what you say. And it is true not just for the girls but for the boys too. Pink has to be the favourite colour of a GIRL and a boy can never opt it as even a remotely acceptable colour. Drawing is meant for girls and not for boys. Boys are supposed to be good with maths and not with music or poetry. And even if they were to sing or play music, they must never be heard as appreciating it rather should be competing. Arts and economics is something a female can opt for but not so for her male counterpart. The list is endless. The basic problem is with the mindset of our society which has screwed its fundamentals so badly that it has lost its culture in the name of modernity and its reasoning in the name of traditions.

  2. Thanks Ma’am for the insight 🙂
    I didn’t think of this point of view (probably because i think about my daughter)
    But you are so right. This is the case of gender stereotype & it is present globally. guys too have it tough when they try to break this stereotype.
    So, if you try to break the stereotype or go against the unwritten rules of the society, life is going to be tough. It’s so unfair, but it is the current state. Sad…
    Let’s hope & try that the world becomes a better place for our kids…
    “The basic problem is with the mindset of our society which has screwed its fundamentals so badly that it has lost its culture in the name of modernity and its reasoning in the name of traditions.” So true, thoughtful & well written..it’s time you start your own blog…

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