Zini, me & life in general

Posts tagged ‘children’


All my life lot of people have described me as bold or brave.. Which actually isn’t completely true.

As a child I was completely afraid of dark. It was so bad that I won’t go to bathroom alone, especially at my grandmother’s place which was situated by a river and bathroom was a little away from the drawing room. And then one day fed up by my fear, my mama turned off each and every light of the home and dropped me at the bathroom asked me to come back on my own and left!! I managed to come back alright 😉 and since then I somehow am not that afraid of dark 🙂

I am also a scaredy cat when it comes to watching horror and similarly scary movies. I generally avoid watching them. On the rare occasions I ended up watching them, I couldn’t sleep well for few days!! Even the funny Ramsay movies could do that to me, not to mention Friday the 13th and the evil. Oh I even got scared by watching Bhul Bhulaiya and The glass house, not exactly horror movies!!

But still people called me brave!! They said so because of my ability to stand up to anybody and speak my mind. I looked like someone who won’t take it lying down. In spite my general tendency of pleasing people, I voiced my opinion and spoke exactly what I thought for the things that really mattered to me. I also stood up for friends, which must have given the impression. I also appreciate this quality in other people. That explains why I was attracted to my husband. Some incidences at work place further bolstered this image.. I remember an office function for families where my super boss on meeting my parents for the first time told them that your daughter is very brave!!

But I want to tell that this is not exactly true!! There are other fears that I have apart from the ridiculous fears of dark and horror movies. I fear for my daughter’s safety. Every time she steps out of the house to go to school or to play, i have this little nagging fear in my heart. I know it is ridiculous!! She has to go out and win the world.. But isn’t it a bad bad world out there, especially this part of the world? You hear everyday about children getting abused and harmed. If a mother going to ATM in a crowded market at 8 pm with her child can be looted inside the ATM by showing gun to her child then how can I feel safe taking my daughter to the nearby park in same neighbourhood at 8 pm? If a friend can be looted of her precious chain in front of the society gate, how would I be able let my precious jewel go out alone? And all this in the so called safe area!! Does this mean that I have to restrict her (and mine) freedom too? Is stepping out without a car after dark a complete no-no for us now? Won’t my daughter know the joy of freedom the way I’ve known it? Won’t she get to ride that scooty and hang out with friends without worrying about time? Won’t she become independent, strong and brave, just the way I want her to be?

I know it’s too early to worry about. But I hope and pray my fears turn out to be false. I hope she truly becomes a brave person, someone who won’t cower in the face of adversity but would go out and fight it, however big or small it may be.

I am missing Ahmedabad today…


The Horror Story…

We are in our most horrified state when our loved one is in danger. I had my share of horror story on the night before travelling to Goa.

The packing was almost done. The Puris & the Theplas were made and packed. (Yes, my OCD has not completely subsided yet, i wanted Zini to have some home made food as long as possible). I was happy that this time we managed it smoothly. And it was time to sleep.

But, hubby wanted to watch Roadies, he couldn’t wait till we came back!!! He had already downloaded the show!!! The guy is a big fan of this show 🙄 , anyways i had to fold cloths so i agreed to do it in front of computer screen.

Meanwhile Zini decided that she wants some milk. So, i postponed the folding work and went into kitchen to make milk. I was about to pour the milk and i heard hubby shouting my name and asking me to rush…I rushed in to be told by Zini that something was in her nose!!!! We asked her what, and she came with her toy slate and showed a broken part of it!!! Our horror story had started…

I tried to see in her nose but couldn’t see anything..This made hubby think that probably she just felt that something was in but actually was nothing inside. But i felt otherwise. Immediately i made a call to her doctor while simultaneously referring to the “What to expect the toddler years” (I remember reading about foreign objects in nose in this book, but could not remember what!!!!).

Thankfully her doctor answered the call and gave me a very sound advice. She said, fake taking out something from the nose, if Zini says that nothing is in then nothing was really in. But if she says that the thing is really in then you immediately rush her to an ENT specialist….

I followed her advice and realised that something was really inside Zini’s nose. So i declared that we have to go to hospital. In the cold February night, I sweated, hubby sweated more and Zini started crying loudly….

So at 11.30 in the night, hubby went to take out the car, while i got the profusely crying Zini ready.

When i picked her up to go to the doctor, i suddenly felt something dropping on me!!! I saw that part of toy on me and Zini declaring “Abhi kuch nahi hai” (Nothing is in – the nose)!!!!!

Phew!!! One more call to the doctor ended our horror story….And we immediately rushed to sleep before anything else could happen!!!

(You know you are a mom when) Cube

Rememember the posts i did about You know you are a mom when..(here and here).

Well obviously it’s impossible to come up with complete list, so here are few more tell-tale signs of mommy hood…

1) You shudder at the “F” word (Fever!!)

2) You just can’t wait for the school vacations to END…

3) You have gained so much knowledge about the childhood illnesses, that you think you can become a doctor…

4) If not doctor then at least a nurse, after all you have so much of experience in this field now…

5) Or a nutritionist may be?!? Haven’t you already done phenomenal amount of research in this field?!?!

6) You get interested in cooking!!!

7) You are 101% convinced that the question “Yeh Kya hai (what’s this)” is hurled at you at least 1001 times a day!!!

8) You think that having a head massage and after that taking a head bath takes soooooooooooooo much time and is a luxury for the privileged few, and going to a beauty parlor also falls in the same category…

9) You hop, skip, run, jump and drop everything when you hear the P word (potty) from the little one, just to be told that “Ab nahi aa rahi (Don’t want to do it now)”!!!

10) You search the net for potty training tips!!!

11) You know who Dora, Boots, Chhota Bheem, Barney, Teletubbies or some such sundry characters are…

12) You marvel at the fact that how that little baby who always used to sleep (okay, used to nurse and poop also) has started walking, talking and pakaoing you!!!

13) When you are not able to find something, only your little one will be able to throw some light on its whereabouts…

14) You use a big big purse and it always has a diaper, sipper and something to eat…

15) People call to wish you on your birthday and then talk about your child only…

16) When your parents (and your in-laws, your maasi, your brother, your friends, in short everybody!!!) go from a plain “Hmmmm” to an excited “Haaan Beta” when they realize that it’s the little one calling using your phone…

17) You know that “Lello” means “Yellow” or it can even mean “Hello”!!!

18) And you still have the exponential rate of rise in respect for your mom….

She is always a woman to me………..

Recently this Billy Joel song was playing in the car (That’s the only place i get to hear songs other than Baa Baa Black sheep & Clap your hands) & i realised that most of it is probably written for Zini ;)……..Probably after reading this you may realize that – wait, probably it was written for my child 🙂

Decide for yourself….

She can kill with a smile (Yes, for that smile people fall over each other)
She can wound with her eyes (when tears start coming out of those eyes..)
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies (screaming Potty!!!! just to detach me from the book)
And she only reveals what she wants you to see (Doesn’t she say “Kuch nahi” to my “Kya kar rahe ho?” while doing something mischievous?!)
She hides like a child,
But she’s always a woman to me

She can lead you to love (She does 🙂)
She can take you or leave you (When she is angry, Ohhhh 😦)
She can ask for the truth (And much more like biscuit, toys, push to the cycle, Godi……….)
But she’ll never believe you (Even after saying there are no more biscuits, she says “Hai Hai”)
And she’ll take what you give her, as long as it’s free (Yes Yes Yes, that’s my daughter)

Yeah, she steals like a thief  (there goes all the hearts 🙂)

But she’s always a woman to me

Oh–she takes care of herself (Oh Yeah, she does)
She can wait if she wants (She has started showing this trait on & off 🙂)
She’s ahead of her time (What to say, she reminds me to turn off the light, fan, water tap & so on)
Oh–and she never gives out
And she never gives in (No she doesn’t, she bosses me around)
She just changes her mind (Very frequently at that)

And she’ll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she’ll carelessly cut you (Oh, those nails, i just cut them yesterday)
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But she’ll bring out the best And the worst you can be (Well she does that)
Blame it all on yourself (Yeah, i take the responsibility, so should hubby 🙂)
Cause she’s always a woman to me

She is frequently kind (Hmm, shares her things)
And she’s suddenly cruel (Suddenly, stops her friend from taking her favorite toy)
She can do as she pleases (Who can stop her)
She’s nobody’s fool (Nope, she is not)
And she can’t be convicted
She’s earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she’s always a woman to me

People & their thoughts

I was wondering about how ours is a society where some people tend go overboard in telling others, especially to women & their parents, what to do, when to do it & how to do it.

When you are a bachelor & having fun, going out with friends, watching movies, going to all the food joints, shopping with friends & just roaming about in the city on your scooty (I miss all these big time), these people don’t like it. As soon as you finish your studies & join a job (or even before that), people start asking your parents when are you getting your daughter married? so even if your parents are in no hurry, there are others around who want to see you married & settled (?). Well, I didn’t like people asking me these questions.

Felt like telling them an old joke. It goes like this:

Once a young bachelor was attending a wedding. Old relatives, kept telling him “Ab tumhari baari hai” (Next is your turn – to get married). The guy got really irritated.

Next he met the same old relatives at a funeral & told them “Ab aapki baari hai” (Next is your turn –  to have your own funeral)…….

I know it sounds really mean, so managed to hold my tongue ;).

Next when you get married, people want you to have child. Even if your in–laws & parents are chilled out, others will worry a lot that shaadi ke ek saal baad bhi abhi bachha nahi hua, kuch problem to nahi hai?!?! Arey bhai, let us decide whether we want a child, and if we want, when is the right time. Within a year they may start saying “Shaadi ko to abhi kaafi time ho gaya hai, good news kab suna rahe ho?” (you are married since a long time now, when are you giving good news – of conception?). And I wonder, why don’t they ask this question to the husbunds.

And even after you get a baby, these people don’t just rest. They want you to have another baby (no wonder, ours is such a populous country), “Ab isko ek bhai/behan to de do, bechara bachha akela pad jaata hai”. (Now give a brother/sister to your child, poor kid feels alone). Also they will give u a lot of suggestion on the way you should raise your kid & tell you that what all you are doing is totally wrong (I can write another post on this ;))

And yes, if you don’t have a son, then definitely you are pressurized to have another child. You will hear things like “ek beta to hona hi chahiye, budhape ka sahara hota hai, ek aurat ki life bete ke bina adhuri hai” (you must have a son, he will be your support in old age, a woman’s life is incomplete without a son). You will hear educated young women saying such things. I feel like informing them about various investment options available to support your old age. I have seen old parents supporting their good for nothing young sons & their families. I have also seen married and single daughters taking care of their parents with or without their hubby’s support. I wonder how a son completes a woman’s life ?!?!?

So what’s your experience with such people?!?

Tag Cloud