I was wondering about how ours is a society where some people tend go overboard in telling others, especially to women & their parents, what to do, when to do it & how to do it.
When you are a bachelor & having fun, going out with friends, watching movies, going to all the food joints, shopping with friends & just roaming about in the city on your scooty (I miss all these big time), these people don’t like it. As soon as you finish your studies & join a job (or even before that), people start asking your parents when are you getting your daughter married? so even if your parents are in no hurry, there are others around who want to see you married & settled (?). Well, I didn’t like people asking me these questions.
Felt like telling them an old joke. It goes like this:
Once a young bachelor was attending a wedding. Old relatives, kept telling him “Ab tumhari baari hai” (Next is your turn – to get married). The guy got really irritated.
Next he met the same old relatives at a funeral & told them “Ab aapki baari hai” (Next is your turn – to have your own funeral)…….
I know it sounds really mean, so managed to hold my tongue ;).
Next when you get married, people want you to have child. Even if your in–laws & parents are chilled out, others will worry a lot that shaadi ke ek saal baad bhi abhi bachha nahi hua, kuch problem to nahi hai?!?! Arey bhai, let us decide whether we want a child, and if we want, when is the right time. Within a year they may start saying “Shaadi ko to abhi kaafi time ho gaya hai, good news kab suna rahe ho?” (you are married since a long time now, when are you giving good news – of conception?). And I wonder, why don’t they ask this question to the husbunds.
And even after you get a baby, these people don’t just rest. They want you to have another baby (no wonder, ours is such a populous country), “Ab isko ek bhai/behan to de do, bechara bachha akela pad jaata hai”. (Now give a brother/sister to your child, poor kid feels alone). Also they will give u a lot of suggestion on the way you should raise your kid & tell you that what all you are doing is totally wrong (I can write another post on this ;))
And yes, if you don’t have a son, then definitely you are pressurized to have another child. You will hear things like “ek beta to hona hi chahiye, budhape ka sahara hota hai, ek aurat ki life bete ke bina adhuri hai” (you must have a son, he will be your support in old age, a woman’s life is incomplete without a son). You will hear educated young women saying such things. I feel like informing them about various investment options available to support your old age. I have seen old parents supporting their good for nothing young sons & their families. I have also seen married and single daughters taking care of their parents with or without their hubby’s support. I wonder how a son completes a woman’s life ?!?!?
So what’s your experience with such people?!?