Fear!!

All my life lot of people have described me as bold or brave.. Which actually isn’t completely true.

As a child I was completely afraid of dark. It was so bad that I won’t go to bathroom alone, especially at my grandmother’s place which was situated by a river and bathroom was a little away from the drawing room. And then one day fed up by my fear, my mama turned off each and every light of the home and dropped me at the bathroom asked me to come back on my own and left!! I managed to come back alright 😉 and since then I somehow am not that afraid of dark 🙂

I am also a scaredy cat when it comes to watching horror and similarly scary movies. I generally avoid watching them. On the rare occasions I ended up watching them, I couldn’t sleep well for few days!! Even the funny Ramsay movies could do that to me, not to mention Friday the 13th and the evil. Oh I even got scared by watching Bhul Bhulaiya and The glass house, not exactly horror movies!!

But still people called me brave!! They said so because of my ability to stand up to anybody and speak my mind. I looked like someone who won’t take it lying down. In spite my general tendency of pleasing people, I voiced my opinion and spoke exactly what I thought for the things that really mattered to me. I also stood up for friends, which must have given the impression. I also appreciate this quality in other people. That explains why I was attracted to my husband. Some incidences at work place further bolstered this image.. I remember an office function for families where my super boss on meeting my parents for the first time told them that your daughter is very brave!!

But I want to tell that this is not exactly true!! There are other fears that I have apart from the ridiculous fears of dark and horror movies. I fear for my daughter’s safety. Every time she steps out of the house to go to school or to play, i have this little nagging fear in my heart. I know it is ridiculous!! She has to go out and win the world.. But isn’t it a bad bad world out there, especially this part of the world? You hear everyday about children getting abused and harmed. If a mother going to ATM in a crowded market at 8 pm with her child can be looted inside the ATM by showing gun to her child then how can I feel safe taking my daughter to the nearby park in same neighbourhood at 8 pm? If a friend can be looted of her precious chain in front of the society gate, how would I be able let my precious jewel go out alone? And all this in the so called safe area!! Does this mean that I have to restrict her (and mine) freedom too? Is stepping out without a car after dark a complete no-no for us now? Won’t my daughter know the joy of freedom the way I’ve known it? Won’t she get to ride that scooty and hang out with friends without worrying about time? Won’t she become independent, strong and brave, just the way I want her to be?

I know it’s too early to worry about. But I hope and pray my fears turn out to be false. I hope she truly becomes a brave person, someone who won’t cower in the face of adversity but would go out and fight it, however big or small it may be.

I am missing Ahmedabad today…

Can’t even think of a title!!

When I read my previous blog posts, I just can’t believe that I wrote them!! Some of them are so good and some of them are cringeworthy.. Still I wrote them. And today when I try to write a new post, I can’t even think of a title!!

While I am really proud of my previous posts, I wonder that is it possible that we somehow loose that creativity or ability to express ourselves in the written words? Because that is happening to me now a days. I can’t really articulate that well.. Is it because, there are too many things on my mind and there is no mind space for creative writing? I hope so.. After all writing a book is on my bucket list and it can’t be fulfilled if I can’t do some engaging writing..

So here I am, trying to brush it up.. Trying to reach out to that place in my mind that has gone in hibernation due to demands of work, commute, family and other persuits. Now that we are talking about other persuit, let me tell you more about it.. You may remember during my previous life as a stay at home mom, I started a baking business? I stopped it after I joined a full time job. But that keeda didn’t die down. It kept coming back to me. For the whole of last year I thought about it. I thought about learning baking professionally and doing it for the living. You may also remember that I was a student of youtube and various food blogs.. But to gain that confidence to put across that premium rate for my baked goodies, I had to go to the baking classes. So I paid a bomb (Thanks to my regular job) and did this baking course, where I mostly learnt about various cake decorating techniques. Some of them I knew but polished it there, some of the techniques were new to me and got a foundation to learn further. Most importantly I learnt to speak up and not to compromise. I realized that if I do that it won’t be fun anymore, it won’t be worth it.

And finally I took the plunge. I once again started baking professionally. If anything it has made my days much more hectic. But I am loving it.. I am loving this phase where I am just setting up the business. I love it when I get great feedback on the cake I had delivered. I love it when the kids come up to me and tell me that the cake I baked was awesome, or that my garlic breads are their most favorite thing in the world. It makes me happy when I see the awestruck faces of the children who can’t decide whether to play with the cake or to eat it, and when these little ones can’t keep their hands of these cakes!! I am not saying it has been all rosy.. I have had my share of mistakes, but thankfully they were far and few in between. And the customers, or friends who ordered have been sweet enough to show confidence in me and have ordered again. I love it when the people who ordered with me 4 years back, come back and order again as soon as they know that I have started the business again. I should count my blessings…

So ending this post with some of my recent creations.. Hope to be back soon..

You can keep track of my latest work on my food blog too at Cake n Curry.

Thank you..

Breaks and comebacks are a recurring theme on this blog.. I do take a break and disappear without any trace and then suddenly come back. This is a pattern that needs to be broken. Hopefully this time.

So any of you who are still around and are interested.. Since I disappeared, I have started working full time. I thought of sharing this information and continue with my both the blogs once I started the job and everything settled down. How naive I was… Once I started the job, the long commute (as long as it could be) didn’t leave time for anything else. Zini who was initially excited that mummy has started office, started missing me. Thankfully I have great support system at home, with hubby taking care of Zini’s study and my mom, masi and mother in law in turns coming here and staying with us to be with Zini when her parents are at work. Touchwood…

With the job started long metro commutes where I would go into semi zombie state. This also took a toll on my health. But I was thankful that I got a job after a long break of 4 years.. I was happy to get a start.  I thought that may be after a year or two I will shift somewhere nearby with more time on my hand. However I didn’t change the job. With a diverse profile (Just a kinder word for changed profile at an average of 2 years) it got difficult to get a suitable well paying job and I continue working where I was working. I thought that may be travelling by car will reduce fatigue and I got a car. Still it was the same. I saved maybe 10-15 minutes of commuting time in the evening.

I can write about my experiences at work after being back to the corporate world after such a long time. I can write about my travel experiences. But today I just want to thank you guys.. For being so forgiving, for inquiring after me and for thinking about me…

A recent encounter with a fellow blogger on a facebook group made me want to come back, connect and thank all of you..

Hope to write many more blog posts over the years. Wish me luck..

I am back, again!!

If there is anybody in the world who can say I am back and then immediately disappear then it’s me.. But you know that already, I’ll tell you something that you don’t know – the reason(s) behind my one more magical disappearance and some other interesting (NOT) stuff from our lives..

I have been busy (nothing new you say?) but this time in a good way!! I’ve taken 6 baking classes for friends and neighbours, i.e. we have been baking cakes, breads and cookies. So after teaching the class I also had to work on preparing the class material. It was fun!! Those who learnt baking and their families loved the goodies and that makes me very happy!! A little positive feedback always boosts the morale 🙂

It was once again Zini’s vacation time!! Sometimes I wonder she is perpetually on vacation. There was winter vacation, then the term end vacation, then the summer vacation, then the navratri vacation, then the diwali vacation and finally we come back to the winter vacation!! In between there are some unplanned mini vacations, like election vacation (She is at home enjoying this vacation) .. Phew!! Why do the schools have to give so many vacations?! Why now? Why not when I was a student? Why?! Why?! Ok, so probably we don’t have answers to those questions… One of life’s mistries (or hard truth)?! The good news is that Zini’s formal school has finally started, the days of play schools are over and the uniform, school buses, lunch boxes and homework rule supreme in our lives. Not to forget early morning alarms… Thankfully she has already made a friend whom she was seen hugging and holding hands with yesterday.

The early morning alarms remind me of one more thing that has started occupying our mornings – Yoga.. Yes, once again we started doing yoga. Hopefully, we will be able to continue with the same rigor.

Oh BTW, you remember that post about one of those days? Finally it turned out I had carpal tunnel syndrome. That too kept me from blogging very regularly. I took an injection and already feeling much better. Though I can still do with some sleep (yeah, those early morning alarms robbing me of my precious sleep)..

So how have you been?

I am back :)

As promised in my last post, I went on a break, though a little longer than expected 😉

I went to Ahmedabad. Yeah I can see a lot of you getting jealous… But wait, this time I went for some work and not on vacation, so get a little less jealous 😉

I am going to read the posts on my reader but before that some Amdavad updates to banta hai 🙂

Finally I got the right sized cupcake moulds that I have been searching for since I started my baking business!! Yaay!! I also got some other baking related stuff!! I found a series of small shops selling all kinds of fancy bake ware in Manek Chowk!! I generally don’t do the city markets but this time I checked out Tran Darwaja!! Had fun checking out all the colourful stuff.

I tried out food from Agashiye, also checked out their rooms!! I would say the place is amazing!! Once I got in it was difficult to believe that it was really located in front of the bustling Vijli ghar!! The place has a calm and laid back vibe to it, which I loved, loved and loved!! And if you are visiting Ahmedabad and have enough money then go and stay there… They have amazing rooms, all vintage, heritage kinda stuff!! And they have a swing in the room!! You know my love for swings!! Yes, I loved, loved, loved their rooms too!!

I also taught bread and cookie baking to our neighbour. In the process I also learnt about a place from bhabhi, that sells all the baking ingredients including yeast, herbs, cake decoration and food colours on Kalupur tower road!! Next time I am going to visit it.. Talking about visiting places, I also wanted to visit Gujari AKA Ravivari (a flea market that takes place on Sundays), but it didn’t work out. Next visit I am checking it out for sure!!

Of course Zini and her best friend Y had a great time together… It was a repeat of last visit for them.. This time they also got to go for shopping together where they sat in the same trolley, had chocolate balls together and than finally fought 😉

Though I didn’t stay at my parents’ place this time, they visited us with lots of goodies!! So Kachori, Dekhra, handvo and Vedhmi were eaten in abundance!! We also went to parents’ place for dinner where I ended up eating so many dhoklas and handvo that I had to skip the dinner of Pao bhaji!! Fun time, I tell you 😉

Really?!

Did I just complete the blogathon?!

Something that I thought was completely impossible for me!! But here I am at the finish line along with so many amazing bloggers!! Yahoo!!

When I read about it @ RM’s place I was sure I couldn’t do it. But then I wanted to see if I could do it.. Then I thought of giving it a try and once I started there was no option of stopping. So my subscribers had to bear a lot of cheat posts in the name of blogathon..But hey, I still managed to post everyday, braving internet troubles and Zini’s vacation!!

It had been a fun journy, at time strenuous as I had busy days, at times I was overwhelmed with work, Some of the days I posted just before conking off to bed!! I also wrote almost everyday and hardly used my drafts. Most of the days, I wrote what I felt like and on other days I posted recipes on my food blog!! Thanks to blogathon, I completed 100 posts on this blog, which I thought would take a long long time!!

And yes Tharani, I too did that post, check comments, write comments and repeat cycle on most days 😉

And finally would say bye and go on a break.. Did you just heaved a sigh of relief?! The relief won’t last longer, I am coming back in a week

Gaajar no Sambharo | Quick Carrots Stir Fry @ my food blog

Gaajar no Sambharo

Today I’ve shared the recipe of Gaajar no Sambharo/ Quick Carrots Stir Fry @ my food blog…

Zini strikes again!!

Disclaimer: don’t read if you are grossed out by reading about potty. Though let me tell you it’s hilarious.. Aah well, things we do for the blogathon 😉

This is what happened when Zini learnt the concept of friendship:

Mumma aap mere friend ho (mummy you are my friend)..

Roti Bhakhari ki friend hai (Roti is friend of bhakhari – both are flatbreads)..

Roti Pronthi ki bhi friend hai (Roti is friend of Paratha – again flatbreads)

Bhakhari aur pronthi friends hai kya?

And the most hiliarious of them all is : Potty Su su ki friend hai!!

#friends

We went to Zini’s doc. We tell him that she seems to be having some gas problem as she has been burping a lot..

Zini immediately corrected me – dakar ko gas mat bolo (don’t call burp as gas), gas to piche se aati hai!!

Everybody including doctor almost fell of the chair..

#gastrouble

Zini after doing her potty:

Yeh potty cake ke jaise ban gayee, chalo iski photo khinche..

Perils of food blogging!!!

#foodphotography

We were coming back from Ludhiana in car and saw a cow on the road with a wagging tail.

Excited Zini shouted: dekho cow poonch se bye-bye kar rahi hai (The cow is saying bye using her tail)!!

#outoftheboxthinking

Handvo in Paniyaram Pan @ my food blog..

Today I’ve shared the recipe of Handvo in Paniyaram Pan at my food blog..

Handvo in paniyaram pan

Mein Jyaada nahi maangti!!

Since my childhood I was sure in what kind of home I would like to spend my life!!

I always wanted my dream home to have a lot Hinchka (Jhoola/ Swings)!! And no, the regular Wooden or Metal hinchkas won’t do. They had to be paatiwala hinchka (they feel more like hammock) where I could sleep, eat and read!! And yes, it has to be situated near a river.

I also wanted to have a big garden with lots of mango trees of my own!! So that I can have loads and loads of mango in the season!! And also a swing under mango tree for those lazy summer afternoons, where I can read and sleep and listen to flowing water!!

As I grew up, more and more features started getting added to my dream home!! I didn’t want a big palatial home!! A home where everybody had their own space would be just fine!! But it had to be airy and well lit but not hot!! It has to have kind of laid back feeling to it!! So that you feel that you are on a permanent holiday!!

It also has to have a decent sized backyard where we can have a kitchen garden, preferably with a swing!!

And of course this home has to have a well stocked library once again with a swing where I would read my books lying down!!

Now that I have been bitten by baking and cooking bug, I would also prefer a big sunlit kitchen with a biiiig pantry to store all the exotic ingredients!! A built in oven in a modular kitchen would be just perfect!!

The home should be cool and shady in summers and warm in winters!! Probably I would also want a fireplace in living room!!

And no zatak colours for my home!! Subtle, pastel colours will be great on walls and the furniture has to feel like real wood!! And as I am a lazy ass, I would like Asian Paints guys to come over, move the furniture and my beloved swings, colour the rooms, restore everything including my beloved swings!! Thank you 🙂

You see, Mein Jyaada nahi maangti 🙂

So what’s your dream home like?